Anywhere But Here
by picimadar
Summary: "But one of these days, you're not going to have anywhere to run and hide, you know, and then what?" He wasn't sure who to blame, or if there was anyone to blame at all; what he did know was that every day spent with her but *without her* was just a little more agonizing than the last.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm back! Yes, this story was posted before and removed because I lost the muse and disliked how complicated the plot had become, so this is a bit of a redux, if you will. I've heavily edited it so you will want to re-read if you noticed it the first time round! As always enjoy and review, pretty please! I'd love to know if there's still interest in the GW/1xR community, the muse has really hit me for these two again and I'd love to get back at it.

**Anywhere But Here**  
Chapter 1: One

Heero sat on a high stool in Relena Darlian's massive kitchen, setting a black coffee and his paper down. Sighing, he didn't even bother picking up his mug when he heard approaching footsteps.

"Agent Yuy, could you _please_ get her?" One of Relena's aides pleaded. Heero gave her a brief 'why me?' stare; he was used to the routine, but also still more used to his charge's stubborn streak. "You're the only one she listens to."

"Maybe if she wasn't so exhausted, she would get up on time," Heero said, putting down his tablet and coffee and standing up off the couch.

"Well, perhaps you should mention that to _her_," the young woman, Elicia, shot back. "I'm not the one who makes her schedule, she does." Heero stared back at the tall dark-haired woman before sighing again and heading upstairs, knocking loudly on the Relena's door as soon as he reached it. "Relena, get up," he called sharply; he heard her groan from the other side of the door and pulled a hand through his hair. "I'm coming in, just get decent."

"Go away," Relena groaned, pulling a pillow over her head. Heero walked over to the large bay windows and ripped open the curtains. The early morning light poured in, eliciting another groan from his charge.

"You have to get up or you'll be late," he tried to reason, standing at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed. He had grown used to her uncharacteristic new 'morning personality'; it had not improved during the lull in violence or since his return to Europe. "Get up."

"Never." She clutched at the thick comforter and sheets. With one swift movement, Heero grabbed the bottom end of the covers and pulled them off the bed, exposing her to the cool air in the room, sunlight shining over her face and blonde hair. Relena seemed to acquiesce, sitting up and running a hand through her tangled hair as Heero stared. Her short satin nightgown had ridden up, exposing long legs and milky white skin.

Once she moved to get off the bed, he snapped back to reality, turning his back on her. "I'll wait outside," he said, trying to ignore the dryness in his mouth and the blush creeping up his neck as he stalked out of the room, closing the door a little too forcefully.

Taking a deep breath, looked at Elicia who stood there smirking. "You do this to me on purpose," he stated flatly.

"If you'd just tell her how you feel, I wouldn't have to," she said, leaning against the wall. "You know she loves you."

Heero met Elicia's dark eyes for a moment. While he had never particularly disliked the vivacious young woman, he was finding reasons to refuse doing her any more favours. "I don't know what you're talking about." Heero crossed his arms, leaning against the wall and trying desperately to quell the heat coursing from his head to elsewhere.

"Sure, sure," she replied. "But one of these days, you're not going to have anywhere to run and hide, you know, and then what?" She smiled at him, patting him on the arm and heading back to Relena's home office to collect some paperwork.

Her words stayed lodged in his head all day as he did his job: waiting. He waited for Relena to be finished with meetings, he waited for her to be finished with a lunch date, he waited for her as she used the bathroom, and he waited for her to wake up in the morning and as she prepared for bed at night. For nearly two years he'd waited for her, on her. Three before spent waiting on himself, losing her. He wasn't sure who to blame, or if there was anyone to blame at all; what he did know was that every day spent with her but _without her_ was just a little more agonizing than the last.

This day was just like many others that summer, with Relena starting early and finishing late into the night, falling into the car for the drive home.

"You okay?" Heero asked, leaving the parliament buildings. It was 2230 according to his watch; late enough that they wouldn't be disturbed by the press or many other parliamentary workers. They had the good sense to go home to bed already.

"Tired," she murmured, uncharacteristically opening the passenger door and climbing in. He started to drive away, watching her out of the corner of his eye as she reclined and sank down, resting her elbow against the door and her head against her palm. "I'm getting really tired of this."

"Me too," he replied quietly, seeing she was already slipping into sleep, her bright blue eyes closing in exhaustion.

The drive back to the house was uneventful. Opening Relena's door, Heero carefully undid her seatbelt and crouched down next to her. She was completely asleep, curled up in the seat. Sighing, Heero turned back toward the house as he heard footsteps.

"'Nother long night ahead of ya?' One of the other guards asked as he approached, laughing.

"Only for one of us, apparently. You guys can leave, you're off for the weekend."

"You sure you can handle it on your own?" Heero looked back over his shoulder and the other man balked. "Relax man, I'm just kidding." He turned away and called an order into his communicator, and the rest of the guards filed out of the house and off the property to their own vehicles.

Heero carried Relena up the stairs to her room, marveling at how light she was. As he opened the door he felt her stir in his arms and he set her down gently on her bed. Lying there in her full suit, it occurred to him she couldn't be very comfortable.

It also occurred to him that he'd probably have to do something about it, and he swallowed hard before shaking is head. Relena was his boss, his charge, it wasn't an issue. Reaching out, he started to undo the few buttons on her jacket and sat down on the bed, putting an arm around her to lift her slightly off the bed.

She woke, her clear blue eyes staring into his only a few inches away. He resisted the urge to just drop her. "You looked uncomfortable, and I didn't want to wake y-"

He was cut off as her lips met his, her kiss sweet and soft. He softened his grip on her, his hand moving to her arm, then her face as he deepened the kiss. Relena sighed against him, her hands running along his chest and his back. They parted briefly, Relena blushing and staring into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, looking away. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately." Her eyes darted back to his as she pressed her palms cautiously against his chest, and Heero knew she was waiting for his reaction.

"I'll let you get changed," he said, standing up and moving away.

"You could stay," Relena said, more desperately than she'd meant to. She looked away again.

Heero half turned back to her, watching her sit on the bed and deliberately try to hide her face behind a curtain of hair; he could practically hear her chastising herself in her head. His internal struggle was horrendous, his mind tearing him in two totally different directions.

He had gotten some good advice once, a long time ago, and he followed it. Stripping off his own jacket he threw it over the end of the bed and he climbed in next to her, pulling the woman he loved back into his arms. Their union started as tentative, sweet and cautious but quickly became deep as they struggled to become as close to the other as possible.

They eventually collapsed back, breathing heavily, sweat-slicked skin sticking to the sheets Relena pulled over herself. Smiling and sighing sweetly, she turned onto her side and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder, pressing her body against his.

"I love you," she whispered with one of her final conscious breaths; sleep took her into oblivion.

Unfortunately it didn't come as easily to Heero. He lay awake feeling several things he hadn't in years, the greatest of which was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what he would have to say when she woke, fear over the fact that he had just slept with his _boss_. Whatever it was, it bored into his chest and weighed on him, the anxiety crushing until he finally drifted off.

When Heero woke in the morning the sun was up, peeking from behind the blinds. He froze before his eyes even opened, remembering where he was and more importantly whom he was with. Opening his eyes slowly, he looked over at Relena's prone form, still deep asleep, and felt relief wash over him.

Slowly sitting up, he climbed out of the bed and searched for his clothes around the room. Just as he had pulled up his pants, Heero cursed his luck and turned around, Relena staring at him sleepily.

"Morning," she said, smiling at him in a way that made his heart ache. "Do you want to go out for breakfast?"

"I'm leaving," Heero said. "I'm going to ask to be reassigned." He pulled his shirt over his head so he didn't have to see the pain he knew was all over her face.

"What?… why, Heero?" she asked, standing up.

"Last night was a mistake."

Relena's face flashed a dozen different emotions before settling on one he hadn't but probably should have expected: anger.

"Get out," she whispered, growing infuriated when he hesitated. "Get _out!"_ She threw his shoes at him as he bolted out the door, letting out a frustrated growl as it slammed behind him.

Relena suppressed the urge to cry, knowing Heero was still within hearing distance, and instead ripped her robe off the vanity chair where it rested, pulled it on and walked over to the large television and communication screen on the far side of the room.

"Put me through to Commander Une, please," she said once the secretary at Preventer base connected.

"One moment please, minister." The line quickly reconnected.

"I want him gone."

"-Miss Darlian, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it."

The two women looked at each other quizzically. "What are you talking about?" Relena asked, leaning back in her chair.

"No one has contacted you yet?" Une sighed, rolling her eyes and glaring. "Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news…"

Downstairs, Heero had just reached the bottom stair when he heard Relena's voice upstairs nearly shrieking "Are you _kidding me?!_" Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and went to bolt out.

He stopped just short of barreling through a thick plastic sheet.

"Yuy, get back!" he heard from outside. "You and the Minister are forbidden to exit the premises."

"What happened?" He shouted back, recognizing Trowa Barton's voice on the other side, muffled as though he was speaking through a mask.

"We believe there was a biological attack on the ESUN buildings sometime yesterday. At least thirty ESUN workers have been hospitalized so far."

"What the hell is it?" Heero asked, his stomach roiling.

"We don't know. Everyone who's been in the buildings or in steady contact with the administration in the last week is under quarantine. I'm sorry."

"You think this isn't the first time this happened," Heero gritted through his teeth, hearing Relena still yelling. Heero recalled the last time he had underestimated a Peacecraft's rage and swallowed hard.

"Is she okay?" Trowa asked, and Heero didn't answer. "Look, until we can find out how to vaccinate you or ensure that you're not infected, we can't release you. The virus is too transmissible. I don't have a diagnosis at this point or I'd tell you. Une will probably get in touch with you both soon, to get you some more information. Considering how many people are sick, it doesn't look like this is the first time we've been hit. I've got to go, Heero."

He could vaguely see Trowa's figure walking away from the sealed plastic covering as Heero felt his frustration peaking. He slammed the door and walked back to the main foyer. Halfway up the stairs he paused, listening to the now slightly calmed female voice above.

"I don't _care_ what it takes, I am not spending another ten minutes with him or I swear to _god_… " She growled, terminating the line and storming away from it. She threw open her door just as Heero reached the top stair, and the two stared at each other. Just as he went to speak, Relena put a hand in the air, pulling her robe closed with the other.

"Say _nothing_ until I am finished," she said, staying in her doorway. "Don't talk to me, don't ask me for anything... just pretend I'm not even here. We both know you have pretty extensive skill with that already."

"Relena-"

"I'm not finished." She spat. "When this is over, I want you to disappear. I want you to go wherever it is you _go_ when you decide you're finished needing me, and don't come back."

Crossing her arms, she stared at him as though she were obviously waiting for some kind of response. Heero, for one of the only times in his life, was too stunned to think of anything to say or do. Rolling her eyes, the woman turned around and slammed her door in his face.

Dazed, Heero turned and sat down on the top stair, putting is elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. For about ten minutes he sat there, considering his options, his fears and inhibitions, waiting for his brain to slow. Standing finally, he looked back at Relena's door briefly before turning, walking down the stairs, and making himself breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ta daa! Sorry this took some time, my life's been a shitshow and I just started a new semester so bear with me. Chapter 3 is already edited and ready to post, so I'll put it up in a few days. Thank you very much to all the reviewers and readers!  
-picimadar

**Anywhere But Here**  
Chapter 2

Relena would have preferred to hide in her room all day; once she smelled eggs, bacon and toast downstairs however her stomach rebelled against her. After searching her private space for any semblance of food and finding none, she sighed, conceded, and headed downstairs.

Heero's back was toward her in the kitchen, giving her enough time not only avoid his gaze but also to realize he had only cooked for one. Glaring, she reached into the cupboard and pulled out a bowl and a box of cereal. Pouring herself a generous serving, she splashed milk over it and headed over to one of the living rooms, sitting on the couch and turning on the television.

"We're still trying to get some more information from government sources, but the situation doesn't look to improve anytime soon. Several other aides and representatives, including the Defense Minister and several colonists, have come down with this vicious virus, which officials have now named the V22."

"Any news of a prognosis?" The main anchor asked, and the reporter shook her head slowly.

"Unfortunately all those who have presented with symptoms thus far have deteriorated quickly, Jack. The greatest concern at this moment is to make sure that the virus gets contained and kept away from the public, especially the colonies."

"Too true, Carol. We should all remember to wear masks in public areas, and to keep the ESUN workers and their families in our thoughts. In other news…"

Relena had completely tuned out the broadcast upon hearing the devastation that had inflicted her coworkers, and could possibly take her. An incoming message appeared on screen, and she opened it, flicking her hand to activate the sensor.

"Miss Relena, I hope you've… _collected_ yourself somewhat since we spoke earlier," the Commander said coolly, raising an eyebrow. Relena made no apologies, continuing to stare quietly at the screen.

"What's the incubation time?" she asked.

"The what?"

"How long do I have until I find out if we're fine, or not?"

Une stared back at her. "It varies. We think that they've been spreading this for weeks by now, since several have already passed away under suspicious circumstances as late as last week and right up until this morning. The longest we can assume is two weeks."

"So we're under quarantine for two weeks?" Relena exclaimed angrily. "I have work to do, I can't possibly get everything done from the confines of this house!"

"I really wouldn't worry about that, Minister," Une replied darkly, "in two weeks, there may not be anyone left for you to work _with_."

The line terminated and Relena threw her bowl of cereal at the screen, milk splashing all over it, shouting "What do I even _pay you for?!"_ It wasn't until the bowl left her hand that she remembered all the staff members were absent; she'd have to clean it up herself.

Heero watched the conversation and her episode of rage in silence, approaching the couch as Relena pulled her knees up to her chest and cried silently, her back shaking with pent up sobs. Heero came around the couch and put his plate down on the table, about to sit down and try somehow to comfort her but she sprang up, muttered something about cleaning and fled the room.

By the time she got back, armed with paper towel, carpet cleaner and screen wash, he was still staring at his food. A few moments passed with Relena sopping up the milk and Heero moving the same piece of egg around his plate before she sighed, sitting on the floor.

"Relena, I-" Heero started.

"Shut up," Relena interrupted, holding up her hand to him and unmuting the news.

"Relena, we need to-"

"I am not discussing anything with _you_," she whispered in the back of her throat. Standing up, she walked out of the living room with a handful of wet paper towel. Heero heard her rattle around in the kitchen for a new bowl and head back to her room.

She put her second bowl of cereal on an end table and collapsed into one of two overstuffed armchairs at the end of her enormous bedroom, groaning. "Two weeks," she muttered to herself, turning on her television and picking up the cereal, "two goddamn weeks of this."

Just as the news started up again, another communication message beeped through. Sighing and only now realizing she was still in her robe, she opened the message.

"Relena, oh my god!" Hilde said as soon as the line opened, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine, at the moment," Relena lied, putting down her cereal and trying to calm her friend. "We won't know for a while whether or not we've been infected, but hopefully by then they will have found a way to treat it."

"Sally's working around the clock at the hospital, it's only a matter of time before they figure it out," Hilde said, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. "Are you okay though? You look… off."

Relena pulled a hand through her hair. "I don't even know how to _begin_ to explain."

"Something happened with Heero, didn't it?" The two women exchanged a knowing glance as Hilde's grin widened. "I _knew _it! I just knew it. Talk about bad timing..."

"You have no idea. I slept with him, told him I loved him, and in the morning he said he was leaving and that it was a mistake-"

"He did _not_," Hilde growled.

"Except that neither of us could actually leave because my house is now under quarantine." Relena felt herself slouch down into the chair. "It's an utter disaster," she whispered, wiping a few tears from her eyelashes. "I can't even look at him, Hilde."

"Can I ask you something awkward?"

"If I say no, will it stop you?"

Hilde smiled before growing serious again. "Was this the first time you've…. You know…"

"No," Relena muttered. "Apparently I am incapable of learning from my mistakes the first time."

"You slept with Heero before?!" Hilde yelled, and Relena glared at her. "Sorry, but _girl_. You need to get it together."

"Tell me about it," Relena muttered. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm so… _furious _with him _and_ with myself, and now there's this mess, and I can't be there doing anything about it. I'm supposed to be out there helping people deal with this mess and instead I'm trapped here in this house with this man who obviously still thinks I'm just _dispensable_." She felt her throat close and winced, clenching her fists and closing her eyes to regain her composure.

"Uh, Relena…." Hilde said, and Relena looked back at her.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Hilde nodded, pursing her lips. "Hi, Heero."

"Hello, Hilde," he answered. "Is Duo there?"

"No, he's out with Trowa trying to get the rest of the quarantines in place. The whole city's in an uproar; you two are honestly lucky you get to stay at home." She paused, wincing as she saw the mortified and yet angry look on Relena's face. "I'll talk to you again soon, okay?"

Relena terminated the call with another hand motion before picking up her bowl, carefully ignoring the young man standing behind her.

"Is there anything you wanted me to do?" he asked flatly.

"I'm not your boss. Do whatever you like." Relena flicked her wrist upward, increasing the volume of her program.

Heero walked around and sat in the other armchair, pretending to watch the news. Internally, he was waging his own war. He knew there would be no way Relena would understand; he didn't know the words or the way to explain what he felt without hurting her, and yet keeping it from her hurt her still.

If hurting her was the only way to protect her that was what he would have to do.

They sat in silence for a little over an hour, Relena surfing through various channels before growing bored and turning it off, picking up her still full bowl and heading back to the kitchen again. Heero considered for a brief second that he could just stay in her room, but as soon as the conjured memories of the night before hit is mind he was out of his seat and through the door.

He almost completely flattened her as she went to reenter the room, muttering an apology as she brushed past him. Relena closed the door behind her, leaving him alone. As he had spent most of his life alone, either left alone, working alone, sleeping alone, solitude had a strangely comforting familiarity to it.

Loneliness did not. For the first few hours he spend wandering the house, he enjoyed taking in the rare artworks Relena's curators had procured, finally taking the time to peruse her massive and almost untouched library. It wasn't until it started to grow dark outside that Heero realized he'd likely be eating dinner alone.

As he stood and started walking to the kitchen, he tried to consider why this bothered him. When he saw Relena sitting at the massive dining room table alone, consuming something of her own creation, he realized why the mealtime perturbed him so much: Relena never ate alone, but she rarely, if ever, ate with him. Frowning, he walked into the kitchen and looked over the disaster that Relena had caused. Her attempt at cooking made him smirk slightly, with burned food, raw food, and completely inedible combinations all mixed together.

Sighing, he opened the refrigerator and started to work, quickly preparing some simple and edible pasta. Heero made two plates, braced himself, and walked back into the dining room. Relena was staring at her plate numbly, so lost in thought that she only looked up when Heero removed her attempt at cuisine and replaced it with his own.

She didn't say anything to him, her eyes red rimmed from tears and filled with anger and hurt.

He wished he could tell her how sorry he was. She wished she had never met him.

Again, silence reigned for a time until they were nearly done eating. "Do you remember the first time we had dinner together?" Heero heard himself ask, as though for a few seconds someone much more stupid than he had taken possession of his body. Relena didn't answer. "I was in the hospital, after-"

"After you almost killed me?" Relena asked, standing up. "I remember."

"I also saved your life," Heero said back stoically, anger welling up inside him. "I don't recall you being angry about that."

Relena stopped and turned to look back at him, her cheeks red with anger and tears rolling down them. "You have no idea what I've been through for you," she whispered, and she turned and headed off to a far wing of the house.

Wiping at her cheeks, she tried to quell her furious anger. She stormed into the library and attempted to sit in her favorite chair, however as Relena approached the far corner of the room she was abruptly and rudely reminded of the sealing work being done on her home. Shrieking with surprise, she bolted away from the window by instinct.

Heero was there almost as quickly, taking her into his arms. "What is it?" he asked gravely, looking around.

"Nothing," Relena said, shoving him away, "the security workers. I forgot they were outside." Straightening her shirt, she moved back toward her seat. "You needn't bother yourself."

"I told you I would protect you," he answered, clenching his fists.

"Not very holistic, are you?" Relena stated flatly before opening her book. "Please don't act like you're doing me a favor. You don't care at all."

"It's because I care too much!" Heero yelled, immediately regretting it.

Relena looked up from her novel sharply, jumping in her seat and facing him. "What are you trying to prove then? That you don't need anyone?"

"I… I can't explain this to you without hurting you, and I can't ignore it without you acting like you want to murder me. What do you _want_ from me, Relena?"

"You," she whispered succinctly, reopening the book and staring at the page but no longer able to see through the tears welling in her eyes. "I just want _you_. I want you to care about me the way I do about you."

"I can't give you that," Heero answered bitterly.

"Why not? Because you're afraid?"

"Yes."

Relena paused, surprised with his admission. "Afraid of what? That you'd have to actually connect with someone? That you would have to actually care?"

"I can't protect you from myself," Heero answered, turning back toward her. "I can't protect you from what I don't know. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Relena didn't know how to answer, trying hard to process all that he had said.

Heero turned toward the door and walked out. "I'll leave you alone."


End file.
